The Year Past
by RainbowLollipops
Summary: When friends stray from one another, what do you do? When the one who is holding everything together is gone, what happens from there? A fiction portraying a different point of view than Chapter. Break. Chapter's short story.


You hate yourself sometimes, it's true. You can't be like all the others who are happy, because you know that's not who you are.

You're bigger than everybody else and you notice constantly, but hey, what can you do? You don't eat too much and you are athletic, so blame it on genetics. At that even, you have curves where most girls just are straight lines and narrow angles. Be proud.

You were bullied when you were in middle school for being bigger too, girls calling you fat, or telling you that nobody would ever want you. Then in high school, things changed. You came out of the closet when you were only in eighth grade, and nobody was really surprised. They knew you were different and now, so did you.

In high school though, you were the powerful one. All those girls who used to make fun of you didn't say anything anymore, because you knew everything about everybody. Your voice was your weapon, and if anybody crossed you, you were determined to use it. You sat with your friends who have been there for as long as you can remember. They were all picked on too, and some still were.

Your name was Leshawna and everybody knew you. It was hard not to know you in a school with only 500 kids in it.

Your friends were always there for you too, and you knew they always would be. Izzy, Justin, Duncan, Lindsay, Harold, Cody, DJ, Tyler, Trent and Sadie.

Izzy, your closest friend for the longest time. You never questioned anything she did, and she never questioned you. She was the only person who you really never wanted to hurt, and told her everything you heard people say.

Justin, well, you never really cared for him. Anything bad that you could find out about Justin normally wound up traveling around the school at some point or another, and nobody suspected you as the culprit.

Harold was one of your better friends. Not at first though, at first you treated him like you did Justin, and just got information out of him for your own personal gain.

Duncan annoyed you, straight to your core. He whined about how hard his life was, when in reality, he was better off than any of you, maybe even some of you combined. He had no reason to sit with any of you, and wasn't really close with any of you in particular, except maybe Harold, but he treated Harold poorly.

Tyler was one of the guys who made you realize that you weren't into guys. He was just one of those people that makes you have to reevaluate your life goals because all of his are just so...average.

Cody, he was alright. He could be fun when you were doing something that he considered cool, like playing xbox with him on weekends when nobody else would. That alone made him like you the small amount he did.

Sadie, you were alright with. She was fun once in a while, but she seemed pretty distracted all the time. She also had a bad obsession with boys, and when she decided that she liked one, she would do anything it took to try and get him, even if he was completely disturbed by her.

Lindsay was always the fun one. She didn't care if you liked girls or not, and was always there for you. She was probably one of the most attractive out of all of you, and you didn't really understand why she was friends with a bunch of misfits like you.

Trent, he was one of the annoying ones. After a brief stint of having a crush on him in middle school, you realized that he just wasn't for you, or for anybody really. You believed that he would be better off just adopting and being a single parent with a nice job. At least he would be able to provide something other than his horrible stories and anecdotes.

Then there was DJ, who you could tell was Gay. You were one of the only ones who accepted his bisexuality as soon as he said it, and understood what it was like to be gay. The only thing that bothered you was that he wasn't really bisexual. It was a crutch so that he wouldn't have to tell the truth. So that he could fit in with the guys, and still be friends with the girls that he wanted to be closer with.

You had mixed feelings about your friends, and you really don't know why you never try to find new ones, more supportive ones that are actually going to be there for you. You could do it, you really could, but you don't think the time is right. Is it ever right though? You see your friends in lunch, like you do every day, and you sit by them like you do every day. You try to talk over them, because for once, you are going to be heard. They listen, and it feels nice for a change to be the one who has the attention, and not the one who has to give the attention to someone else. You see DJ in the corner, not really paying attention to everything and just tuning the world out. Instead of listening to your story about Alejandro, who told everybody all these stories about himself (which none were true). You didn't mind, because DJ was the one everybody wanted to be. Nobody disliked him, but he wasn't popular. You didn't really understand, but it worked for him.

It was September 14th in your Junior year. You were all mixed grades really, but you forgot about the grade levels because you all had the same maturity level. You liked you consider yourself one of the most mature, and for the most part you were.

Lunch ends, and they all get up to go to their classes. The only ones in the same grade as you are Lindsay and Cody and that's okay. Lindsay and you walk to your class, talking about how horrible Tyler looked today, and how fake Justin is to people. You became the bully. You went from being the victim to being the tormenter. You know this and you want to change, but you can't.

School ends and you go home to the broken family you have. Your brother is 29 and is living somewhere in the US now. He is gay, just like you, only your family accepted it more readily than they accepted you. It took a girlfriend for them to realize you were serious. They weren't there for you when she broke your heart and slept with another girl though. Your mother is an amazing woman. She gives all she can to you, but that isn't much. She works as a waitress in a restaurant downtown, and you work with her on the weekends to make money for school and your car. You don't have a father. Well, you did, but he doesn't talk to **'Dykes' ** as he so gracefully put it. You have a step-father too, but he thinks that since you're a lesbian you are supposed to be just as manly as he is. You fight with him, a lot. This causes you to fight with your mother, even though you love her and it hurts you,

The next day in school feels off and as you walk through the halls you can't help but feel something is wrong.

When you get to lunch you notice what happened. The seat where DJ is normally sitting is empty. There is no talking for once, and you don't try to make yourself heard. You just sit and eat your lunch. You probably eat a bit more than you should, but maybe it's for the best.

Eight months go by, and over the time you have distanced yourself from your old friends. Or did they distance themselves from you? You walk to the lunch table you sit at regularly now. Your friends are here now. They are even less supportive than your two best friends. Izzy doesn't talk to you anymore though. You aren't sure why, but she just disappeared from your life. Lindsay still talks to you, and you intend to try and keep your friendship.

A lot has changed since DJ left. You had to go to the doctors, and they gave you anti-depressants. They help though. They take some of the pain you feel away, and they actually mellow you out.

You look across the room and find Lindsay, Harold, Justin, and Duncan sitting at your old lunch table. Lindsay looks over and waves to you. You smile and wave back. From the other table next to that one, you lock eyes with Courtney. She smiles at you and does a half assed wave, and then goes back to her boyfriend. You have been hooking up with her for quite some time, but nobody notices. You like her, but she would never make the drastic change to ruin her life for you.

Justin gets up from the table and walks out of the door. Nobody is really sure where he goes after he leaves. Sometimes he never even shows up. He is graduating in another month though, so nobody will really miss him. The same goes for Trent, who just kind of disappeared in the beginning of April. Tyler walks through the room with Cody and they get dirty looks all around. A lot of people have come to hate those two, because they never consider others. You still play xbox with Cody on the weekends and you don't really ever expect that to change. You won't however, forgive him for the way he treats you. He reminds you of the bullies from your past, but this time, you won't stoop to their level, and you just take his punches and know that you are the better person.

Lunch ends and you walk over to Lindsay and Harold. You all walk to your class together and talk. It's good to know there are still some connections between some of you. You pass by Izzy in the hall and it's suddenly like slow motion. You see her eyes and you can tell she is sorry, but you won't forgive her for just leaving you like that. You were supposed to be her best friend, and she just stopped talking to you. You grab onto Lindsay's hand and start screaming stuff about crazy lesbian black girls trying to get in everybody's pants. She laughs because she knows you and she knows that it's just a joke. You feel better then, because you realize that Lindsay is actually there for you unlike Izzy.

The next day, you sit with Lindsay and Harold at lunch. Duncan is sick and you can't help but feel grateful. You really don't appreciate his humor. The three of you talk and laugh. It's like old times again. Only this time you don't feel them trying to push away from you. You're genuinely liked. From the corner of your eye you feel as if you see somebody watching you, but you shrug it off. Lindsay talks about college choices, and you talk about how you want to move into an apartment some day. You want to live on campus for a bit first though, and you know that you will never really grow apart. Harold laughs, because he still has a few years to go before he has to think about colleges.

Before you know it, it's the last day of school and your mother reluctantly let you skip school. You take your car and grab a friend at her house and go to the mall, where every teenage girl on her last day of school should be going. You have the time of your life there, and even meet a girl who you give your number. On the way home, you get a weird text from Harold. Something about seeing ghosts from the past or something. Then you realize that he must mean something about DJ. You can't be upset though. You just accept it. Because even though your entire high school life changed in less than a year, you can't be upset. You are a better person now, and you honestly want to thank DJ.

You went from being bullied to being a bully, to just being LeShawna. You are finally what you wanted to be all along, liked. You are somewhat popular with your friends, and people who aren't your friends. It's all because of DJ though. He helped you see how horrible you were being, and he made you get help.

* * *

**Oh wow. That was emotional. So...I give credit for the idea to Chapter. Break. Chapter. He entirely gave me the idea after he posted a story based off of DJ in this story. The story is really...hard for me to write I guess. I cried a bit when I was writing, I won't lie. The characters are all very symbolic...and the situation itself is symbolic for me and each character represented. It's a story that kind of sucks, but it has made many of us better people. It made a few of us worse people, but it happens. Here is to friends, and here is to drifting apart. It happens, but it can't be changed. Thanks for reading guys. And seriously check out the story _Tales of Every Day Situations_ by Chapter. Break. Chapter.**


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